The place was like a dream, but so much more surreal. All my demons surrounded me in this hall of wonders, all my past transgressions were revealed.
The place was a white room, with windows making known my entire life. Awful things, wonderful things, all next to each other in this myriad that is my life.
Some things I see bring a smile to my face, but so many more fill me with shame. I stepped up to one of the windows and looked through it. I saw my wedding day. This was the day I vowed to stay faithful forever. And then I stepped to the next window and felt myself sin again. I saw myself watching other women, wanting them, lusting for them.
The demons around me watched and snickered at my agony. My very soul felt twisted and ready to fade. What is this room? What has brought me here?
I stepped to another window, hoping to redeem myself with great works of mine. I saw myself sitting in the bathroom, with a knife held to my wrist. I shuddered, remembering the bad times I had lived through.
As I walked around the room, I looked through the various windows. I gained a true understanding of what my life had been. My life was a sin. I had achieved nothing great. I had not benefited society. I had merely succeeded in adding to an epidemic that had plagued man for generations. I was a sinner.
I turned back around towards the center of the room and saw a man on a cross, and instantly knew it was Christ. A man with a hammer and two nails stood next to him.
I walked towards the messiah, tears streaming down my face. Before I could say anything, the other man asked me, ?Do you ask for forgiveness for these atrocities?? He motioned with his hand towards the windows surrounding us.
Weeping for mercy I looked at the Savior and quietly replied, ?I do. I ask you for forgiveness Lord.?
The man turned towards Jesus and asked, ?Do you accept the burden??
He looked at the man, and then turned to look at me. ?I will take this man?s burdens onto my own shoulders so that he may live.?
The man turned to me and handed me the hammer and two nails. I looked at my hands and cried. How wonderful Christ must be. He would endure suffering like this for all eternity, just to save us all from the same. How wonderful Christ must be, and now I had to crucify him.
?You know what you have to do,? the man told me grimly.
I looked at Jesus and he smiled at me. He moved his lips and silently whispered, ?Do it.?
He held out his palm, and then brought it back against the wood of the cross. I took the nail and drove it through the palm of my Savior. His blood trickled through my fingers and I heard him gasping in agony. His entire body wrenched and twisted in his suffering as he managed to choke out, ?Now you can finish it??
I raised my blood-covered hands, holding the hammer in one hand and the nail in the other. Tears soaked my face and sweat soaked my skin. My entire body trembled and my soul ached as I slammed the hammer against the head of the nail. My gut twisted as I felt his flesh tear and heard his voice cry out.
The messiah?s body shook and convulsed, twisted and bled, shuddered and trembled.
The man looked into Jesus? tortured eyes and asked, ?Do you forgive this man??
Jesus looked at me with agony and hurt on his face and painfully said, ?I forgive him.?
The man looked at me and said, ?The Savior has forgiven you of your sins and you no longer own them. Now come with me.?
He led me out of the room and through the gates into heaven. I looked back and saw Jesus looking at me as my demons, my sins, attacked him. They tore into his flesh and ate at his heart.
I turned around and stepped in the light of heaven, no longer knowing sin.